Is That What You Meant To Say? What Your Clothes are Communicating for You.
Have you ever noticed that you have certain stock answers to often asked questions? Maybe the first time someone asked you a particular question, you answered quickly. You were being funny or you were nervous, maybe disinterested or perhaps you really didn't feel like revealing too much about yourself.
As the question has come up again and again over the years, you've developed this auto response. Let me give you an example, I've surrounded myself with very smart people my entire adult life. I've always been especially drawn to people who know a lot about things I don't know about. I really love people who know a lot about things I'm totally disinterested in, specifically, science. Why? I've always thought it was because I wanted to have a child one day and I expected that he/she would want to look through telescopes or microscopes or ask detailed questions about clouds. To be honest, I'm not particularly interested in any of those things. And, it seemed to me that having a partner who was would ensure my son or daughter would lack for nothing, but I wouldn't have to fake interest.
So, a lifetime later, I'm married to someone who knows a lot about science. Therefore, I'm often asked in one way or another, "how do you feel about him knowing the answers to all these questions." Translation: Is it annoying? Does it make you feel insecure? Is it boring?
My stock answer perfected over the years, "It's great. I'm inherently curious but I'm also lazy. This way I know all the answers without having to put in any effort." It's witty. It ends the conversation. It's complimentary toward my wonderful husband. But, is it true?
Not so much. And, actually it's great. But, it's great because I love having my son learn from someone who knows and I tend to learn quite a bit myself. Although, if you know me at all, and I'm guessing you feel like you do, I'm actually not inherently lazy. In fact, I'm sort of the opposite.
Where am I going with this?
It's the same with style and clothes.
Don't Let Old Habits Speak for You.
Perhaps you had a good reason for wearing that black dress to your friend's wedding years ago or buying that style of coat. But, is that decision still justified? Or, have your clothing choices simply become stock answers to your morning question of what to wear? Are you avoiding pink because someone told you once that you, "couldn't wear pink?" Perhaps pink didn't fit into your alternative style as a teen and you haven't given the color a second glance since then.
As a parent, there are several versions of the mantra, "use your words." And, as adults, it's important that we heed the same advice. Are you saying what you want to say with your words? Are you saying what you really mean to say with your clothes? Or, have you stopped considering that your clothes really are sending messages. Perhaps those messages are no longer relevant to you.
There's no time like the present. Choose your words.
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