Who do you really want to be.... really?

My new office is my living room. When I gave my old office to my son last spring for online school, it hit me hard. But, now, I actually love it. The living room has giant windows on three sides and I can enjoy the greenery outside and one of our giant fishtanks while I get things done. It’s a win-win.

It does, however, mean that whenever my son or husband are grabbing a snack in the kitchen, they can hear my side of a conversation with a client. It’s the first time they’ve actually heard me doing my job. And, I’m starting to get some feedback.

Last week, my husband told me that he heard me talking to a client about her beloved acorn shirt. It was a button down shirt with acorns on it. That acorn shirt was a pivotal moment in her closet edit and apparently, even while only hearing one side of the conversation, my husband understood the significance, too.

As a personal stylist for women for over seven years, there are certainly some reoccurring themes. This is one of them.

Is that who you REALLY want to be or just your first step in getting there?

There’s often a piece that my client loves and I can absolutely see why. In this case, her acorn shirt was unusual, even quirky, which she really liked. It made her feel unique, like she wasn’t just wearing what everyone else had on. I knew intuitively that she’d feel a stronger connection to it because it also felt professional, so she could wear it to work and command authority while also communicating her authentic personal style and showing that she is approachable.

Yes and yes.

And also, no.

My client and I were on the path to a carefully curated collection that channeled a yoga retreat but with more polish. In this future land, her clothes would be polished and sophisticated, but not stuffy. She would be approachable to high school students (whom she worked with) and their parents (who made the decision to hire her and pay for her services). Approachable was important, of course, but it also needed to be very clear that she was a capable professional. Hence the acorn shirt.

On the plus side, that shirt absolutely accomplished all of that. This explained why she thought of it as one of her favorites. On the negative side, the question lingered, was it REALLY where she wanted to go?

The answer was, “no.”

Here’s why.

Yes, the shirt was a classic cotton button down with a quirky print. But, it didn’t really communicate the level of polish and sophistication that she wanted. She likes soft fabrics and feeling comfortable. Most days, if given the choice, she’d stay in leggings. The structure of a standard quality, button down shirt was too constricting and the style was too stuffy. Personally, I loved the acorn and could totally see where she was going with the purchase. And, I’m glad she went there. But, now, it was time to graduate to something that actually felt like her in the present day.

It was time for silk, Tencel, bamboo, soft cottons and other desirable fabrics that felt luxurious. She was ready to try styles that were more current and effortless. The acorn shirt was trying just a little too hard for her desired style. She just needed someone else to tell her that, Yes! she is totally capable of pulling off a more sophisticated, effortless and still quirky look. Yes! She can be comfortable and look amazing at the same time. Yes! Her clothes can feel luxurious and still approachable. And Yes! It’s time to take it to the next level.

This conversation comes up more often than you’d think.

Why?

Well, because our styles evolve over time. Our bodies change. Our incomes change. Our lifestyle changes. Sometimes, our style evolves with those changes to offer up something even better than before. And sometimes, we just end up lost. In the words of one of my clients, “the choices are Brittany Spears or Janet Reno….I’m not 16 and I’m also not dead.”

Knowing your authentic personal style is an essential component of communicating who you are and what you want to say to the world. You can’t control the narrative if you don’t know what you want to say in the first place. I like to have my clients identify three words that communicate that style. They shouldn’t be synonyms. And yes, you are the same person no matter where you go or who you are going to see when you are there. So your words do not change. You may be edgier one day and more relaxed another, depending on the circumstances, of course. But, YOU and your overall style aren’t changing.

This brings us back to the part of the conversation that my husband overheard.

“Does this shirt communicate polished yoga retreat (her new desired style)? If not, it’s a no. Or, is it actually representative of the style you are aspiring toward? If so, let’s add another word to the mix that includes this type of top. Is this who you actually want to be or just a step on the journey to get you there?”

And so it was. One of her favorite shirts headed for the donate box.

The next day, I created her Uber Wishlist, a list of 35 items selected just for her to compliment her existing wardrobe and communicate her personal style. The following day she sent me this.

Wow, what an awesome and crazy experience. Also, I loved all the body-positive models, that was really cool. I loved all your descriptions of the thinking behind all the pieces, really made me think about my personal style / vibe / life. Like a therapy / life coaching / art project session :)

She’s already able to rethink her wardrobe to communicate her style and opt for pieces that flatter her. By the time we wrap up her package, she’ll be all set for the next phase, in her polished yoga retreat world.

Package: Virtual Style Update

Psst…. Did you know that we’re offering virtual styling services right now? Interested? Jump on the waitlist.